The Fruit of the First Sorrowful Mystery: Sorrow for Our Sins
Soon after solid spiritual reading became a part of my daily life, I was struck by the emphasis the saints place upon the Passion of Jesus. The saints are unanimous in telling us to meditate on the Passion, if holiness is the desire of our hearts. In view of their wisdom, I was surprised that my Catholic upbringing paid so little attention to Christ’s sufferings. In fact, a trend I observed in my childhood was the removal of crucifixes from Catholic sanctuaries and classrooms, to be replaced with a bare cross or the resurrected Christ.
Please do not misunderstand me: We must never lose sight of the Resurrection, the triumph of our Faith and the cornerstone of the apostles’ preaching! But nor must we lose sight of the Passion – the price of our Redemption – and the greatest expression of God’s love the world has ever known. As St. Paul of the Cross wrote, “The passion of Jesus is a sea of sorrows, but it is also an ocean of love. Ask the Lord to teach you to fish in this ocean. Dive into its depths. No matter how deep you go, you will never reach the bottom.” If we fail to meditate on the depths of Jesus’ sorrow, we will never appreciate the depths of His love for us, for LOVE unto folly is what led Him to endure His unspeakable pains for our salvation. In other words, we remove crucifixes from our sanctuaries and classrooms not to deepen our appreciation for God’s love, but because we are scandalized by the Cross. This scandal has reached an all-time high because the Passion opposes the great heresy of our day: the loss of a sense of sin. If we wish to undo the effects of this heresy in our hearts, there is no better remedy than to contemplate the Agony of Jesus in Gethsemane.
Jesus tells His closest friends, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death” (Matt 26:38). He wasn’t exaggerating. St. Luke – a physician – tells us that “being in agony he prayed more earnestly; and his sweat became like great drops of blood falling down upon the ground” (Lk 22:44). The Lord’s distress was so extreme that it caused hematidrosis – a rare medical condition in which tiny blood vessels in the skin break open, and blood is released through the sweat glands. What was Jesus thinking and feeling to reduce Him to this state?
In a sacrifice of love defying human comprehension, Jesus takes our sins upon Himself. He freely offers His sinless self to the Father’s Justice, to satisfy for all the sins of all humanity. Suddenly, the horror of every sin – from the dawn of time to the world’s ending – parades before His innocent eyes and beats down upon His Sacred Heart. His consciousness becomes filled with the awareness of the bitter torments He is about to undergo in atonement for our disobedience: betrayal by one especially loved and chosen by Him; insults, calumnies, and blows without respite; the cruelty of a Roman scourging that leaves Him barely recognizable; rejection by His own nation – the very people He favoured and healed; the infamy of a legal condemnation; thorns piercing His head from every side amidst mockeries and outrages; the painful journey to Calvary under a crushing weight; and the final three hours of agony upon the Cross. Beholding this frightful vision, He is tempted by the Evil One to spare Himself such anguish, yet crushes his head when He offers Himself willingly: “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as thou wilt” (Matt 26:39). And this is not all: Jesus knows that even after so great an expiation, so much of humanity will carry on in sin, unmoved by His sacrifice. His love will be scorned; souls will run to their ruin; His Church will be attacked; the Blessed Sacrament abused. His unfathomable sacrifice will be repaid with ingratitude – a bitter chalice indeed!
As the saints so often lament, LOVE is not loved! As I write and ponder these truths, I can only express my shame at how little I have responded to the sacrifice of my Saviour. How much have I been loved by God, and how little I have loved Him in return! How easily I mourn when I am afflicted, and how little I have mourned for the affliction of Jesus, and the cause of it – my sins!
Sorrow for sin is a beautiful thing, because it is the springboard of divine love. It is not too late for us to comfort Jesus in Gethsemane. His consolation in His agony was the souls who would cherish His Blood and immerse themselves in that sacred flood – something you and I can do today. If you find yourself like me, with a heart several sizes too small, take comfort in knowing that the desire to love Him is already to love Him. Trusting in His Mercy, we can say to Him, “My Jesus, I love You! I praise You and I thank You for your sacrifice! I am sorry for my sins – increase my sorrow! It grieves me that I am not more grieved by them, and by how much You have suffered for love of me. By the merits of so much LOVE, give me a new heart – your own Heart – that I may respond to your LOVE with the love You deserve.”
Jesus will gladly answer this prayer… We can give Him no greater joy than allowing Him to be Saviour.
