The Fruit of the Transfiguration: Desire for Holiness
When St. Thomas Aquinas’ sister asked him how to become a saint, he answered her in two words: “Desire it.”
To be human is to be a creature of desire – a hunger in the flesh. I think we sometimes underestimate the power of desire in our spiritual lives. It’s easy to overcomplicate holiness, identifying spiritual growth with a to-do list of virtues to acquire, prayers to pray, and ascetical practices. While these things have their proper place in the spiritual life, we can’t grow a millimetre without the presence of holy desire. Our desires inspire our strivings, and our strivings steer our growth. The question is, what is it that we truly desire?
Throughout His time in their midst, Jesus engaged His disciples in a progressive re-education and reorientation of their desires. Consider the Beatitudes, which radically renovate our sense of blessedness: the poor, the hungry, the weeping and the hated are the eternally happy ones, whereas the rich, the filled, the laughing and the praised are the eternally woeful (Lk 6:20-26). Talk about turning our desires upside down! After they had been vying on the road for their own superiority, Christ calls the Twelve to Himself and says, “If any one would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all” (Mk 9: 35). In other words: learn to desire the last place. And when Peter decries his Master’s foretelling of the Passion, Jesus boldly answers, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a hindrance to me; for you are not on the side of God, but of men… If any man would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matt 16:23-25). His message to Peter: I have to die to give you life, and you have to die too to lay hold of it. Don’t prevent my death and yours – desire it!
The way to holiness is counterintuitive, because it undoes the selfish sensibilities of our fallen nature. Over and over again, Jesus urges us to stop desiring what the world wants and to start desiring the things of the spirit. However, not yet free from the effects of original sin, this raises a real problem for us: How can we desire what seems so undesirable from a worldly point of view?
In order to desire as God desires, we have to stop seeing reality as the world sees it, and start seeing it as it truly is – through the eyes of God. In the mystery of the Transfiguration, Peter, James, and John were given a window into heavenly glory to prepare them for the devastation of the Cross. Jesus is transfigured before them precisely as He speaks of His departure – the experience of His Passion which was soon to be accomplished on Calvary. Thus, Tabor is a foretaste of the Resurrection, illuminating the truth that what will dazzle and awe-inspire us forever is veiled within the suffering and humiliation of the present time.
As with Peter, James, and John, our spiritual experience is lived between two mountains: Tabor and Calvary. Tabor signifies the role of the “spiritual highs” in our lives, such as the invigorating experience of attending a fiery Catholic conference, or moments of profound consolation in prayer. Naturally, we wish these moments of emotional happiness and palpable grace would never end. Like Peter, we’d like to set up camp on Tabor, not descend from our spiritual highs to ascend another mountain – the long, demanding road of Calvary. Calvary represents the daily dying to self of the Christian, including the particular crosses the Lord has arranged to effect our purification and provide for deepening union with Him. Tabor ignites holy desire in us, that having beheld the glory of the Resurrection, we may have the strength of will to follow in Christ’s bloody footsteps to a more abundant life.
The saints wanted to be saints. They desired it with all their hearts, and when the flame of holy desire grew weary in the daily grind of carrying the cross, they asked the Holy Spirit to rekindle in them the desire for holiness. We cannot make ourselves saints; even the desire for holiness is a grace – a freely bestowed gift from the Father of Mercies. But we can wake up each morning and ask for a burning desire for holiness, reminding ourselves that it is the Father’s good pleasure to give us the kingdom (Lk 12:32). As the Church prays in the Divine Office: “If you hunger for holiness, God will satisfy your longing, good measure, and flowing over.”
[1] Thomas Dubay, Conversion/Deep Prayer (San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 2006), 22.
